Our internal dialogue influences our thoughts and actions far more than we realize and that’s especially true if you’re a family caregiver. What you tell yourself and what you say to others can shape your entire mindset about caregiving.
I Can’t
Henry Ford once had a quote attributed to him that said, “Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.” Regardless of whether the quote is correctly attributed to Mr. Ford or not, the premise is correct. If you consistently tell yourself that you can’t make the time to take care of yourself or that you can’t do whatever it is that’s been suggested to you, you’re going to make that a reality for yourself.
I Don’t Have
Another self-fulfilling statement that you might be making is continuing to tell yourself that you don’t have what you need in order to do something. Now, on one level, this could just be a statement of fact. If you’re telling yourself that you don’t have anyone to step in and care for your loved one while you handle other tasks, you just might be overlooking other solutions, such as hiring elderly care providers instead of relying on family members.
Anything with “Never” or “Always”
The problem with “never” and “always” is that they are such exclusive words. Very few situations actually fall into either category and yet when you use those two words, it’s easy to convince yourself that they’re accurate. Removing these words from your vocabulary gives you a little extra room to see the situation from a more accurate vantage point.
I Have To
The danger in this phrase is when it shows up in situations such as, “I have to be the one to take care of my loved one because no one else can.” It can be an indicator that you’re allowing more perfectionist tendencies to take over. You don’t have to do everything. Other people can help out, too. If they’re not volunteering, there are others who will.
Changing what you tell yourself takes work, because these are subconscious messages, but you can do it. If you need extra help, get in touch with a therapist or counselor that you trust.
If you are considering home care in Bethlehem PA, contact the caring staff at Extended Family Care of Allentown. Call today at (610) 200-6097.
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